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Meeting Survival Helmet
A protective foam helmet for spiritually dangerous meetings, budget reviews, and surprise brainstorms.
$49★ 4.8
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Browse the complete Very Serious Goods catalog. Every item solves a problem, even if the problem had to be invented first.
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Executive Blue Pants 32x30
Tailored blue pants in size 32x30 for quarterly reports, first dates, and pretending you read the deck.
$79★ 4.6
View productPocket sized
Emergency Tiny Spoon Kit
Seven tiny spoons in a dramatic velvet case for yogurt emergencies and espresso diplomacy.
$12★ 4.9
View productFounder favorite
Cat CEO Laptop Decoy
A dedicated decoy laptop that redirects your cat's strategic pawing away from your actual quarterly plan.
$35★ 4.7
View productNew
Anti-Procrastination Socks
Socks with aggressive motivational text visible only when your feet are on the desk.
$18★ 4.2
View productChew safe
Dog Operations Clipboard
A chew-safe clipboard for dogs who need to audit every walk, snack, and suspicious leaf.
$22★ 4.5
View productDramatic
Desktop Fog of Importance
A tiny silent fog machine that makes every spreadsheet reveal feel legally cinematic.
$64★ 4.4
View productSecure
Snack-Safe Desk Vault
A countertop-safe snack vault with a disguised label that says 'printer toner'.
$58★ 4.6
View productLimited
Jacket of Leaving Early
A crisp lightweight jacket optimized for graceful exits and mysterious calendar conflicts.
$119★ 4.3
View productLoud
Boardroom Fetch Toy
A squeaky quarterly-report toy for dogs who need to disrupt the meeting with confidence.
$16★ 4.8
View productCozy
Executive Toast Warmer
Keeps toast warm during long negotiations with butter, jam, and your inbox.
$44★ 4.1
View productCelebratory
Decision Confetti Cannon
A responsible handheld celebration device for finally choosing a button color.
$31★ 4.9
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